“Dacryphilia (also known as dacrylagnia) is a form of paraphilia in which one is aroused by tears or sobbing. The term covers all forms of pleasure from the tears of others. The arousal is achieved when viewing a person in emotional distress. It carries the theme where a person (often a Top in a BDSM relationship) induces another (the bottom) to cry, or otherwise show a strong emotion. Dacryphilia may be a form of humiliation in the ‘pain/restriction/servitude/humiliation’ spectrum of BDSM; for example, a dominant may verbally abuse the submissive in order to elicit a tearful response. In contrast, a Dominant may instead physically torture the submissive to draw tears in a pain scene. In this way, dacryphilia is a form of sadism. A Sensual Dom or dominatrix may instead choose to elicit tears by making the Sub feel safe enough to become emotionally vulnerable. The psychological aspects of dacryphilia are that the causative entity displays the power to control the psychological response from the receiver. This form of power-play therefore brings pleasure, and for some, sexual arousal. Passive dacryphilia involves a third party who also achieves pleasure in watching someone in emotional distress, usually caused by the scening dominant, though the reason does not restrict the pleasure – a person may enjoy the tears of others, whatever the cause. Dacryphilia is not limited to BDSM and may be experienced by those who do not consider themselves a Dom or Sub. They may be aroused when their partner cries during a movie or from the normal emotional vulnerability and strong feelings of love that may make a partner cry during intercourse.”- As defined by Wikipedia In this video I cum with my hitachi while crying. I have PTSD and have suffered through bouts of anxiety and depression over the years. While I was rubbing my hitachi against my clit and just sobbing, my brain just turned off. And I was paralleled with my emotional pain and my physical pleasure, and my orgasm caused me to sob. I’ve wanted to explore this paraphilia on film for awhile because of its intensity, but obviously was intimidated by it. I have an idea that we are mandalas which are never arranged but always complete. They make up the totality and the completeness of who you are. All your joy, love, pleasure, creativeness, empathy and kindness are all there, but we must also embrace the things about us that we don’t like. Our pain, our regrets, jealousy, hurt, anger, trauma, fear, we need all the parts of who we are to make up our mandala to be complete. And we accept the complete picture of ourselves do we find balance. It’s ok to be complex It’s ok to have big feelings It’s ok to cry It’s ok to cry a lot This was obviously really intense to shoot, as I’ve never masturbated while crying. It was incredibly intense and I sobbed at the end, I actually felt a lot better. I filmed several more moments of me breathing and grounding myself and rambling some thoughts. Libidos and the mind are extremely complex and for everything we know there’s so much left to feel and to see. For a lot of people who practice bdsm in addition to enjoying the way it feels, it can also be away to process complex feelings, trauma or sexual paraphilia in a safe, sane and consensual way.